


To Heal My Wounds

by sazzykins



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4009726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sazzykins/pseuds/sazzykins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ken Kaneki and Nagachika Hideyoshi are a well known duo of actors, known for working together more than working apart. However, sometimes filming with your best friend makes you start to think about them in a different light. (Actors AU, still working on a direction - warning for spoilers for TG: Root A)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ken stared ahead, sorrow and acceptance in his eyes as the body of his best friend lay at his feet. Everything ached, his head from the crying, his arms and shoulders from bearing the weight of Hide, his stomach from the still healing wound from his fight and worst of all his heart. The ache in his chest had no beginning or end – it simply was. Snow fell, covering the world around him...

“CUT!”

The studio lit up, dazzling everyone on set momentarily.

Ken sighed, kneeling down as he let the build-up of emotions he had been preparing for this scene rushed out. He closed his eyes, rubbing his face with his hands in an attempt to bring himself back to reality and away from the script. A warm hand appeared on his knee.

“You alright, Kaneki?”

Ken smiled behind his hands before dropping them, eyes meeting his friend’s gaze. Golden brown eyes stared at him from the studio floor; Hide apparently had no intention of moving until the dark-haired man did.

“Ah. I think I was a little too into it,” Ken replied with a smile, feeling the ache in his chest lift. “You are too good at playing dead.”

Hide laughed, “I am multi-talented, after all. I can make you happy and sad!”

Ken smiled and pushed himself up, gripping onto Hide’s arm and pulling him from the floor. The blond man sprung to his feet, full of energy. Well of course he was, he had just been carried around on and off for the better part of an hour.

Arima walked over to the pair. “Well done, Kaneki. I saw staff members crying, I almost thought you would too.”

“I almost did!” Ken said with a laugh, half-heartedly fending off Hide’s attempts to hug him better.

“That’s a wrap! Scene came out great…” The director walked over. “We’ll leave it there for today, we might need you back in for voice work but the filming is done. Remember, cast and crew party is this weekend and we expect everyone to be there!”

The actors nodded as hands were shaken. They then began to move around the set with everyone else. Congratulations, thank yous and goodbyes were traded by people who had become close friends in what was an emotional rollercoaster of a film. Even though the scene was not real, the actors and story worked together well enough that it was still upsetting to witness. Not to mention Hide had an uncanny popularity with almost everyone who came into contact with him.

Over an hour later, Ken and Hide managed to leave the studio with their belongings. They were finally back in normal clothes a bright sunset was waiting for them outside. This gave Ken the final push away from his character and brought him back into the real world. They were given a ride back in company cars, used to get them past the fans who would wait at the gate for a glimpse of their idols. As always, Hide was more than willing to reward them and rolled windows down to start shouting compliments at the cute girls. He dragged Ken towards the window as well and made him wave before letting him go. Ken didn’t get too mad about this, he knew the fans would wait there for hours sometimes, so even though he was uncomfortable with the attention he liked reward them. Maybe not as much as his friend…

“Aaah Kaneki, there were really cute girls there. We should invite them for coffee!” Hide turned in his seat to look out the back window as the fans vanished from view.

“We are not inviting fans for coffee. They’d spend five minutes with us and decide that we’re losers.” Ken replied matter-of-factly. The expectation and reality were always different. Arima and his off-the-wall sense of humour was a perfect example of that – a ghoul investigator and owl waltzing was an interesting sight.

Hide laughed. “That’s true, we can only pretend to be cool for so long. What’s tonight then? Takeaway and bad creature feature movies? Or bad creature feature movies for me and a good book for you?”

“That sounds like a plan,” Ken replied. Most people would be offended if their friend liked to read so much in their company, but not Hide. Unlike his friend, Ken found it tiring to be around people all the time and recharged better with reading and hanging out with his friend. Doing both at the same time helped him to recharge faster, and after today he was certain he needed it. His head still hurt from making himself cry…

An arm was flung around his shoulders a Hide pulled him into a half hug. “I’m glad that’s all over. It was sad.”

Ken nodded in agreement. The mental image of his friend lying in his arms with convincing make up and pretending to be dead was refusing to leave.

“Kaneki, I am not going anywhere. Remember, everyone loves me. If anyone attacks me there will be a journalist or group of fangirls ready to protect me at all times.” Hide grinned and nodded as if this was the most obvious fact.

Ken started laughing. “How could I forget how universally adored you are, Hide?”

“This is what I wonder, I am very adorable, Kaneki,” Hide replied, grin getting wider. “Not quite as cute as you of course…”

Ken pulled a face at the blond, waving the comment off. He soon regretted this when Hide started shaking him.

“Believe me, Kaneki! Why don’t you ever believe me?” A whiny, hurt tone was now present in his friend’s voice. Ken knew this was the vocal equivalent of crocodile tears but he was still a little too emotional from filming.

“Okay, okay, I’m adorable. Please stop shaking me.” He said with only a small eyeroll.

“That’s more like it.” Hide relaxed back into his seat. “So what are we eating later?”


	2. Chapter 2

Ken collapsed onto his couch, soaking up the cool silence of his apartment. The press run in advance of the premiere had finished, leaving him a night of rest before the final reveal the next day. Since finishing, the whole cast had been on a never-ending run of interviews, variety shows and fan meetings. The main brunt of this had been taken by himself and Hideyoshi as the two main characters, but luckily the popularity of the other actors and their characters had given the two time to breath.

Ken stared longingly at his coffee machine, sat directly in his line of vision on the kitchenette side, beckoning him. With a sigh, Ken attempted to mentally will a cup of coffee to make itself, body protesting even the thought of movement.

The signal light on Ken’s phone began flashing. 

He typed in the code to see a new message notification. He smiled, knowing who it would be from. The smile disappeared and was replaced with a raised eyebrow as he read the message from Hide.

“COFFEE” No punctuation or clarification.

Ken replied. “Is that a statement, a wish or a question?”

The reply came swiftly. “All three! Make me a nice coffee!”

“No.” An even swifter reply.

Ken started smiling again as he heard banging above him. Hide lived in the apartment above, moving in at almost the exact time as Ken. Hide also liked to make sure that Ken never forgot that his best friend lived above, especially when he was displeased. He wasn’t sure when hide had started banging his feet on the floor, but it had been a habit ever since.

“Please! I won’t live until tomorrow!” More banging. Hide had a lot of energy for someone who was supposedly dying.

Ken paused for a moment as their last day of filming came back to him. He brought his hands up to his face and lightly smacked himself a few times, forcing the image out of his mind. That had been months ago…

The sound of footsteps and a door slamming sounded above him. Seconds later another louder bang happened at his door.

“KANEKI! I AM REALLY DYING!” Hide’s voice could be heard loud and clear through the door, and no doubt through the doors of everyone else on this floor. With a sigh, Ken stood up and moved to let the blond in.

“I think you’ll survive…” Ken said, a small smile on his face. He enjoyed solitude but after the unwelcome thoughts of a few moments earlier, his excitable friend was a welcome sight.

“Please make me a coffee! The sweet one you made last time! I will even help, Kaneki!” Hide made a move towards the kitchenette but was quickly shooed away. His previous attempts at making coffee had not been outstanding, and now that he was moving, Ken wanted the resulting coffee to be worth it.

He set the machine and filters up, listening as Hide began chatting about the day they had had. They had spent several hours in the early morning filming an interview for a television show, followed by several magazine interviews and a few photoshoots which took them late into the evening before they were driven home.

“You are really good with the photoshoots, Kaneki!” Hide said suddenly, watching as the other man prepared the cups.

“What makes you say that?” Kaneki was fairly sure that anything promotion wise was Hide’s strength, not his own. He only performed as well as he did when he had the blond to   
help him along and bring him out of his shell.

“It’s the same as when you’re acting, you know how to look at the camera. I always end up pulling funny faces and being told off by the photographer…” Hide grinned. This precise scenario had occurred earlier that day.

“It’s in your nature to be like that, though. The photographer should let you be yourself.” Ken poured the coffee into his cup, leaving it plain before beginning on his friend’s coffee. All the cream and sugar that could be contained within a mug was apparently the only way Hide could drink coffee.

“Because you wouldn’t want me any other way!” Hide said, sounding overjoyed at the compliment he had found within that statement. 

Ken started laughing as he stirred the sugar-coffee-cream mix. “Well I don’t know about me. The fans maybe…” He could almost feel Hide’s pout burning a mark into his head. 

His laughter trailed off, leaving a grin on his face as he refused to look at his friend, taking his time to mix the drink, imagining the facial expression.

“You wouldn’t want me any other way and you know it.” A glum reply. The pout was now also audible.

Ken finally looked up, caught the other man’s eye and began laughing again. He pushed the coffee across the table as a peace offering, which was instantly accepted.

“I would be terrible in interviews if it wasn’t for you, Hide. It’s hard when people ask you the same questions over and over. You make it a conversation so it’s easier to reply…”

“Well you are still sometimes terrible in interviews, Kaneki…”

Ken accepted this with a nod and a shrug.

“What are you going to do on the red carpet tomorrow? I might not be there to save you!” 

“I’m going to pose and then get inside as fast as possible! I might hide behind Arima…”

Hide laughed. “I can imagine that…’Tokyo Ghoul movie premiere – star nowhere to be seen! Franchise saved by heroic Nagachika!’”

Ken took a sip of his coffee. “Well the idea is we turn up to see the movie. Everything else is extra.”

They fell quiet for a few moments, both sipping at their drinks.

“I wonder how the movie turned out. We filmed a lot of things that they said might not make it in…” The dark haired man said, staring at a spot in the middle of the table.

“We’ll soon find out. I’m not looking forward to that ending scene,” Hide said, looking at the same spot. 

“Same.”

Ken felt Hide staring at him for a moment. He had thought about the final scene a lot over the past few months. It had gradually appeared less and less, but he was concerned that seeing it on screen might fetch it back again.

“Oi, Kaneki. We should work on something happy after this!”

He looked up, meeting eager brown eyes.

“Yes, we should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still going along. I have a few plans but nothing concrete. YET.
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and the reviews - they made my day! <3


	3. Chapter 3

Lights flashed from outside the limousine, the sounds of crowds breaking the quiet inside the safe cavern where Ken and his best friend sat. Hideyoshi was naturally excited for the wild ride that was the walk from the car to the doors of the cinema. Hide’s hand rested over Ken’s, the nervous energy radiating from the dark-haired man in waves. The red carpet run was never his favourite part of the job.

They climbed out of the car, Hide first, hand sliding away from where it had been sat. Ken’s hand felt cool for a second as the warmth of his friend’s touch vanished. With a deep breath he followed Hide, stepping out and blinking as he was temporarily blinded by hundreds of flashing cameras. Their names were called from every direction by journalists wanting pictures and a short interview to fans wanting to interact and get an autograph.

Despite Ken’s hesitations in this part, the support of his friend and the other cast members as they milled around allowed the time to pass reasonably quickly. Hide didn’t leave his side throughout the whole carpet walk, the pair interviewing together with Hide keeping the conversation going and posing together with Kaneki preventing his friend from injuring himself in poses that seemed more and more likely to cause his friend an injury.

Most questions were standard interview and easy to deal with; ‘how do you feel?’, ‘are there any good scenes to look forwards to?’ ‘will you be making a sequel?’. Hideyoshi’s natural charisma shone in these moments, where Kaneki was prone to giving the same standard answer each and every time. This was the benefit of working together – they knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

Once inside the cinema, despite the fact that there were still hundreds of people around, everything suddenly felt much quieter and calmer. Ken took another deep breath, releasing the tension that had steadily been building outside.

“Worst bit over, Kaneki.” Hide bumped his shoulder into his friends, bringing him back to this plane of existence.

“For now.” Ken’s mind flashed forward to the film. The tension began building again as he remembered the last scene.

“Shh, we’re pretending that bit doesn’t happen remember?” Hide replied, making Kaneki chuckle quietly. Satisfied that his friend was okay for now, he steered him towards the bar. “But just in case, I think we should get a drink!”

Ken’s chuckle turned into a full laugh. “I thought we were being respectable members of society tonight!”

“When we were ever respectable members of society? You’re an introverted bookworm!”

“And you’re an over-enthusiastic manga addict!”

“There’s the Kaneki I know…” Hide stopped as he was interrupted by a very loud shout.

“DRINKS ON ME FOR THE NEXT 10 MINUTES!” Arima didn’t mess around when alcohol was involved.

“Kaneki, it’s a sign! It’d be rude not to afterall…” Both actors were then caught in the small stampede for the bar that followed the announcement. Ken shrugged his shoulders and decided to go along with it. He waved his thanks across the bar at Arima, then almost lost hearing in one ear as Hide yelled his thanks across the room and both he and the white-haired man engaged in a very happy double wave at each other which lasted until drinks were put in front of them.

Ken grabbed his drinks and made his way out of the crowd, Hide soon following. 

“Well, let’s go get some good seats before everyone else does!” Hide attempted to put an arm round his friend and not spill his drink at the same time, realised this was a bad idea and settled for attempting to steer kaneki with his shoulder.

“You do realise they will have already set us the best seats, Hide?” Kaneki said, allowing himself to be shepherded towards the screen.

“Someone might try and steal them. Anyway, we need to make sure I look handsome in all my scenes and how are we supposed to do this if we are not in the best seats??”

Kaneki just laughed in response as the two strolled into the screening room, finding their allocated seats fairly easily. They were indeed the best seats in the house. The ‘ghouls’ sat to Ken’s right and the ‘CCG members’ sat to Hide’s left, though this arrangement kept changing slightly a people moved seats to sit closer to friends.

“Are you ready for the last scene, boys?” Arima sat down beside Hide, balancing three drinks in his arms as he carefully sat down. 

“That scene is gonna be the worst to watch, why would you bring it up?” Hide said, mock outrage in his voice.

“Just to upset you, clearly,” Arima replied, sipping on a drink. “I think most of us aren’t looking forward to it. It’s sad for several of the characters.”

“Like me!” Suzuya sat down beside Arima, peering round the taller man and waving at Kaneki and Hide. “It’ll be the saddest for you two though. Even on set it was sad, and now they have the music and everything!” 

“Thank you for the reminder!” Hide pretended to tear up dramatically, earning a gentle cuff round the head from Kaneki. 

“We managed filming it six times, I think we can manage watching it once. And then never again.” Kaneki said, making Hide and Arima laugh.

“Well if you need more drinks after, you two can take advantage of my free drinks all night!” Arima replied, shooing Suzuya away as he started complaining that he also wanted free drinks. “You keep drinking water, it’s already free!”

Eventually the director stood up at the front to give a speech and the room fell quiet.

“Well, here goes, Kaneki.” Hide said quietly, leaning onto their shared armrest, his shoulder coming into contact with his dark-haired friends. As much as he pretended otherwise, he didn’t really want to see the scene either. Kaneki hated to see him die, but Hide hated the thought of leaving his friend behind. Maybe he should argue with the director about a sequel where he would live…

Kaneki nodded, swallowing. He decided it surely wouldn’t be any worse than filming it over and over again – atmospheric music or not. Unconsciously, he leaned against Hide as he felt the other man’s shoulder come into contact with his.

Kaneki would soon come to realise he was very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting! Sorry for the long wait - life has been a bit crazy for a few months! Hopefully I can update a little more regularly now.
> 
> As for this, in my head, Arima is Viggo Mortensen - srs actor with a waffy streak.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially planned this to be angstier than it is - but these boys have been through enough pain and I just want them to be happy. Forgive me!
> 
> Music I was listening to if you enjoy that kind of thing:  
> Candle Thieves are the creators of all the songs!  
> -Breathing Just For You  
> -Keys to my World  
> -The Rock & The Bug  
> -Honey I'm Home
> 
> I enjoy the candle thieves and you should too!
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy and merry christmas! The next chapter is finished, it just needs reading over so it won't be too long!

The film passed easier than expected for the duo, various scenes brought back entertaining memories for everyone involved. Whispered reminders of falls, pranks and Freudian slips were passed among the cast and crew as the film progressed. Fight scenes brought back the memories of injuries, impressive feats of strength and endurance from both the cast and their doubles. Extra praise for the stunt doubles who fought against Arima – a man notorious for going all out in his fight scenes, a challenge readily accepted by the stunt people. 

As they approached the end, Hide leaned in and whispered to Ken, mock outrage in his voice.

“They cut my speech!”

“How could they?!” Ken responded in the same tone, glancing away from the screen and momentarily locking eyes with Hide. The blond grinned at him, lightly scratching the side of his face. Ken smiled back; at least he knew he wasn’t the only nervous one.

The scene approached, Hide’s character leaning against the coffee table, the purposely dark set hiding what would later be revealed to be a serious injury. All too soon, he saw Hide’s eyes close, the soft background music falling silent, increasing the impact of what has just happened. Against his will, Ken felt his eyes begin to burn, muscle twitching in his chin defiantly as he told himself over and over that it was make believe.

At that moment, Hide’s hand slipped into his, squeezing tightly, the light pain drawing Kaneki out of the move. A second later a large hand landed on his head, gently ruffling his hair, a glance to his left saw Arima looking down at him, hand resting heavily on his head. Hide’s grip on his hand relaxed slightly as Ken looked over at him. Hide gave a little giggle and rubbed his eye before reaching over and rubbing at Ken’s eye as well.

Ken giggled as well, the break from the screen to see Hide was as affected providing a large relief. He turned back to the screen, watching as he carried his friend along the road towards Arima.

Soon after that, the ending credits rolled, lights in the theatre coming on as people began to cheer and clap. The room swelled with talking as people began to move back towards the foyer and bar again, Hide and Ken being carried away in the crowd amidst congratulations, slaps on the back and offers of more drinks.

Arima kept his promise of free drinks for Hide and Ken, and Suzuya, who continued to ask for the free water – it was the principle of the matter he had declared. The constant interactions with people kept them busy, both men temporarily getting separated in the crowd but finding their way back together again. A never ending supply of wine seemed to appear in their hands no matter where they were. This continued for a few hours as everyone congratulated the production crew on the finished movie. 

Finally, head feeling slightly fuzzy, Ken decided it would be a good time to leave. He looked around for Hide, catching sight of the blond chatting animatedly to some of the makeup team. A second later, their gazes met and Kaneki nodded his head towards the door, letting Hide know that he planned on going home. Hide held up his hand at Kaneki and then began saying his farewells to people before joining his friend.

“You read my mind, Kaneki! Anymore wine and I’d be sleeping behind the bar tonight!” Hide said as they left the theatre, walking straight into a crowd of fans. They signed what they could; posed for photos when asked and slowly made their way to the limo they had arrived in.

“Aaah, as popular as ever. It’s a good thing we don’t wear makeup, Kaneki. Just imagine the runny mascara we would have had after that!” Hide said, relaxing back into the seat.  
“It was really well produced. It seemed so real…” Kaneki began thinking of the scene again, brain performing that annoying ritual of finding something upsetting and turning it over and over again. “The music stopping especially….” He rubbed at his eyes, stinging sensation returning again. 

“Don’t start, man, you’ll set me off!” Hide wrapped his arms around his friend and leaning his head against his friends. “I’m not going anywhere, alright…” Hide felt his own voice start to quiver. Damnit.

They fell into silence, both breathing slowly and steadily as they calmed themselves down again, trying to override the effects of the alcohol. The journey ended quickly as they arrived at their apartment complex. They thanked the driver and then unsteadily made their way inside the building. As they entered the elevator they glanced at each other and away again, pressing the buttons for their respective floors.

Ken opened his mouth to say something, trying to think of an excuse to keep Hide around for a bit longer. “Hey, would-“

Hide interrupted. “Can I sleep at yours tonight? That way we can blubber together – and you can make me a coffee in the morning when we’re hungover!”

Ken smiled. “That’s a good idea, Hide. You make terrible coffee.”

“Then I’ll go up and fetch my duvet and PJs. Leave your door open!”

They separated at Ken’s floor, Ken leaving his door open as requested. The silence of his apartment – usually relaxing – now made him think of the moment his friend died in the movie. Again. He quickly put the TV on for background noise and flopped down on the couch, trying to focus on the fuzziness in his head rather than the annoyingly clear mental image of his friend covered in blood, face pale as his eyes closed and body fell limp. This could become a problem if he didn’t hurry up and shake it off…

He shook his head, the noise of the stairwell door opening letting him know his friend was back.

Ken wasn’t entirely sure how Hide had managed to get changed to quickly but sure enough there was his friend in flannel pajamas, slippers on feet and pillow and quilt in arms. Ken smiled, all his friend was missing was a stuffed bear.

Hide returned the smile, glad to see any sign of happiness on his friend’s face. He had kept catching Kaneki with a far off look in his eyes throughout the night as soon as he was not being distracted by someone. He knew that scene was affecting his friend a lot, and he worried about it dragging out. Ken hadn’t mentioned it, but he knew it had been on his mind a lot since they shot the scene.

A yawn blurred his vision, soon echoed by his friend.

“Do you want to sleep in my bed? I can sleep on the couch…” Ken said, standing up and moving to go get his own pillow and quilt.

“Kaneki, we can both fit in your giant bed! No one needs to sleep on the couch!” Hide said, moving and using his free hand to guide Ken towards the bedroom.

“Well if you’re okay with that…” Ken started.

“I am!”

Soon enough both men were tucked inside their quilts having claimed the bed. Silence fell again, sleep darting around the edges of their grasp, the room filled with the sound of their breathing.

“Kaneki?”

“Hmm?”

“I think the obvious choice is for us to become immortal,” Hide stated.

“What sort of conversation are you having with yourself to come to that conclusion, Hide??”

“Well, if I died you’d be upset, if you died I’d be upset. Obviously being immortal is our only option.”

“Or we both die at the same time,” said Ken. 

“But that’s just depressing,” Hide replied.

“The only realistic option.” Ken sighed. “But I’m sure as the years go by and we get married, we won’t feel this strongly about each other… We’ll have other lives, children, a dog, a mortgage…” Ken could feel tears prickling his eyes again, a life where Hide was less present and less available suddenly seemed just as bad as death. In fact, the idea of Hide with anyone else in the future…

Hide had turned onto his side, watching Ken silently as he spoke, chest aching at the thought of the scenario his friend described. In the dim streetlight coming in from the edges of the curtains he could see his friend’s lip trembling.

“That’ll never happen, Kaneki. You regularly fail at the first date, I spend too much time trying to do everything that interests me to ever have time for a relationship. We’re dating failures who will be single forever – but at least we’ll be single together!”

Ken laughed, reaching up to rub his eyes again. “Aah, I’m sorry, Hide. I think the wine is making me sad…”

“I think you mean the wine is making you whiny.”

Ken sighed deeply as Hide giggled at -his own joke.

“We’ll always be friends, Kaneki. I am the Samwise to your Frodo.”

Ken smiled.

“The Gollum to your Smeagol,”

“Hide, that’s not a good-“

“The shark to your tornado!”

“Hide, what the-?”

Hide finally stopped, laughing at his final statement.

“Hide there is something wrong with you!” Ken said, starting to chuckle at his friend’s infectious laugh. They giggled together, looking at each other in the dim light before giggling again.

“Aaah, Kaneki. Don’t worry, we’ll be friends forever. Or at least for a long time yet – we’re both young and healthy after all.”

Ken nodded, feeling the tendrils of sleep begin to crawl over him as the weight of the movie began to drift away.

Hide watched as his friend fell asleep, body relaxing, breathing deep and evenly. He leant over, putting his forehead against Ken’s.

“I’ll never leave unless you ask me to, Kaneki. I love you too much for that.”

With a sigh, Hide moved back to his half of the bed and snuggled into his quilt, letting sleep drift over him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it! I had other vague plans for this fic but they weren't happening, so you get fluff instead!

Ken blinked his eyes open as a band of pain wove itself around his head and stabbed at his eyes. The constant stream of wine the previous night almost seemed like a bad idea now…

He rolled over, groaning quietly as the world spun for a few seconds, stomach churning audibly. He froze, willing the sensation away. He blinked several times, trying to clear his vision, then instantly regretting it. The room seemed intolerably bright even with the curtains closed. A pained look to the side saw Hide almost mummified within his duvet, only his closed eyes visible above it, blond hair pointing in every direction.

Ken closed his eyes and took a deep breath then began to slowly roll towards the edge of the bed. His goal was painkillers, water, the same for Hide and then to sleep when they kicked in. He slowly staggered towards the kitchen, filled two glasses of water and carried them back to the bedroom. He pulled painkillers from the drawer, took two and then put two on the bedside table on Hide’s side with the second glass of water.

Task accomplished, he crawled back into his duvet and tried to fall back asleep. A groan alerted him to Hide coming round.

“Painkillers and water on the bedside table,” Ken muttered from his duvet.

He felt Hide move, vision obscured by his duvet. The sound of painkillers being removed from the packaging and a gulp of water let him know Hide had heard him.

“Why did we drink so much, Kaneki?” Hide groaned, also attempting to vanish under his quilt.

“Because Arima is an evil man with too much money.”

Hide groaned in agreement and they fell silent again, waiting for sleep to return.

They drifted in and out for a few hours once the painkillers kicked in and rendered life slightly more pleasant. Eventually, Ken began to come around and feel vaguely human. The headache had gone and his stomach felt less delicate, just the tiredness that came with interrupted sleep. He glanced over at Hide, the blond clearly having overheated at some point as the quilt was now half on the floor, one leg stuck out across the bed on top of Ken’s duvet, arms up above his head and pajama top riding up his stomach.

Ken thought back to the previous night and what Hide had said. The blond did indeed have an almost one track mind when it came to things that interested him, but Ken doubted that would be something that prohibited a relationship for him – his friend would just pursue that the same way he did everything else. Something that would probably make him a great boyfriend and husband for someone… Ken shook his head. He refused to start the day moping over his friend falling in love with someone else. It would happen eventually and he’d deal with it then. 

With a decisive nod he began to move, quietly making his way to the kitchen for coffee and something to eat. As the water boiled, he tried to remember when his feelings for the blond began. He had been perfectly content for years, the two of them hanging out, living close to each other and working together. This had all changed when a mutual friend began to show an interest in Hide, and what Ken initially wrote off as insecurity developed into what he eventually admitted to himself as jealousy.

The interest had been short lived, the woman had pulled away once realising how Hide, as nice as he tried to be, was not as invested in her as she was him. This had been one of the few occasions where Ken had comforted Hide, the blond feeling guilty for not giving the woman more of a chance.

There hadn’t been anyone since. Hide had pointed out various cute fangirls and women over the years but never made a move to initiate a relationship. He sometimes wondered if Hide had known he was jealous and avoided relationships to keep him happy, something his friend had apparently decided was his mission in life.

He poured the coffee, inhaling deeply, the scent alone rousing his mind. He thought back again to what he had said, now feeling guilty. What if his dependence on Hide caused him to stay single forever just to keep him happy? Especially after he had essentially told him that he hated the idea of them being separated. Maybe he should try and make other friends or go dating himself…

He sipped his coffee, frowning at himself. He had decided to not be mopey and here he was…

“Kaneki I want coffeeeeeeee!” Hide’s voice rang from the other room.

“Come and get it then!” Ken put his cup down and began to prepare the sugary, milky concoction that was Hide’s preferred coffee.

Hide came strolling in, running his hands through his hair as he tried to bring it back under control.

“Life feels…less painful now!” He sat at the kitchen table as Ken passed him his coffee. “Thank you. How do you feel?”

“Better, just tired now. Do you want toast or something?”

“Yes please!”

Ken set about putting some bread in the toaster.

“Hide, I’m sorry about rambling last night…” He began.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not often you tell me how you actually feel, Kaneki.” Hide replied, a small smile on his face.

“I, I just don’t want you to think that you have to babysit me or avoid spending time with people because you think I’ll get lonely. If you do that you’ll just end up resenting me later…” Ken said, focusing on the toaster and determined to put the previous night’s wrongs to right.

“I don’t avoid other people to be with you because I think you’ll go to pieces without me. I spend time with you because I like you more than everyone else,” Hide paused. “Shark to your tornado and all that.”

Ken laughed again. “You need to stop watching bad killer shark movies.”

“We’ll be together in a retirement village, Kaneki, and I will still be watching Sharknado movies 1 to 45…”

“Don’t you ever think about getting married though?”

“Not really. Well, I did once think about us getting married but I’m not sure who would wear the dress…” Hide said.

“Why would you think about us getting married?” Ken asked, turning round and meeting the warm brown eyes of his friend. Hide raised his eyebrows, a pink blush across his cheeks as he pointedly met Ken’s face. The combination of Ken’s surprisingly honest rant the night before and tiredness from the hangover made Hide feel brave enough to try and drop a less subtle hint on his friend.

Ken’s eyes widened as he realised what Hide was getting at.

“When… how long…?” The toasted popped, causing them both to start. Ken ignored the toast as he looked at his friend.

“Hell if I know, one day it was there.” Hide shrugged and looked down at his coffee before taking a long, loud sip. “If you don’t feel the same way that’s fine…”

“I…” Ken paused and then turned and began to butter the toast. “I…feel the same…” he said quietly, turning and handing a few slices to Hide.

Their eyes met, then Hide smiled, his trademark sunbeam grin. Ken smiled back. The blond reached up to take the plate from Ken and briefly let their fingers touch. The dark-haired man felt his cheeks heat up.

“Well, I guess we don’t have to worry about us marrying anyone else then…and we can get a mortgage together! I’m sure if we want kids we can make that happen too…” Hide began talking, tucking into the toast as Ken sat opposite with his.

“Maybe for now we should just try spending more time in each others bed…”

“Kaneki!” Hide acted shocked. Ken realised what he’d just said.

“Not like that! Like last night, but I suppose…” Ken felt the warmth from his cheeks spread across his head to the tips of his ears.

“One step at a time for us, I guess.” Hide gobbled the rest of his toast down and then tentatively reached over and placed his hand over Ken’s.

Ken nodded, turning his hand so he was able to hold Hide’s. Suddenly he had whole new life to think about and ponder over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily every after! In the land of Far Far Away From Ishida Sui.
> 
> Happy holidays! <3 Thank you for reading my waffle.

**Author's Note:**

> First proper TG fic, because the world needs more hidekane, and more definitely alive Hideyoshi!


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